dwgm: Kimi Birds (Jack)
dwgm ([personal profile] dwgm) wrote2004-04-01 10:19 am

Another drabble...



Drabble Challenge for this week: something Jackish.

100 words, without the title.


The Morning After



Sun. Warm. Light seeping through eyelids. Morning, then. Sea and island scents. And smoke.

Ah. Last night. The fire. And the rum. Lots of it. Too much. And no food.

He recalled dancing. And singing. Good song, that! Full of surprises, was Miss Swann. The drink spoiled his plan in that direction, of course. But it was a new day. Even if she was Will's girl. They were bloody marooned, weren't they? And he was Captain Jack Sparrow!

But…what the devil? That smell! It wasn't just smoke. It was…rum! Burning!

His eyes popped open.

Bleedin' hell! SHE'S BURNIN' THE RUM!

[identity profile] ladymora.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I like! But you other ones were better. There are a few too many sentence fragments in this one.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Five Cats)

Sentence Fragments

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
The challenge was: "You can write anything you want (100 words, give or take) as long as it's about Jack, or from Jack's point of view." So it's a kind of stream-of-consciousness thing. (Also, a drabble is supposed to be 100 words, so it has to be pretty compact.)

Re: Sentence Fragments

[identity profile] layah.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree with Mo. While this was nice, your other ones were better. Especially the first one I read, which was that double theme 200 word one. That one was really good.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Five Cats)

Re: Sentence Fragments

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for the compliment on the longer one. It's easier to do those longer ones.

[identity profile] cacopheny.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I love how the scene corresponds to the icon XD

And honestly, I *like* the fragmentary style ^^' Feels more Jack-like, since his thoughts tend to go every which way, anyway, right?
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Five Cats)

Jackish?

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I made that icon a while back, so I thought it would be fun to do a drabble to go with it :) And yes, that was kind of the idea behind the fragmented style. Glad you picked up on that (as did Branden!). Sharp eye!

[identity profile] shockwavesix.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, the fragmentation does seem to fit more with Jack's semi-derailed train of thought.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Five Cats)

"Semi-derailed"

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL! That's a great way of putting it!

[identity profile] bizarra.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this drabble too..was highly amusing to see/hear? jack's POV about waking up to Lizzie burning the rum. LOVE that last line. LOL and I agree.. the fragments are very much Jack.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Five Cats)

Validation!

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Excellent -- sentence fragmentation is winning two to one.

Great icon, by the way!!!

Re: Validation!

[identity profile] bizarra.livejournal.com 2004-04-01 07:19 pm (UTC)(link)
thanks. :-) I'd love to make a better one in color with better pics.. but I like the idea behind this one. :-)