dwgm: Kimi Birds (J/E - Save Me by savvylicious)
dwgm ([personal profile] dwgm) wrote2011-11-01 08:02 pm
Entry tags:

Drabble: 'Haunted' (Jack - G)

Part two for the current drabble challenge, from a different pov...




~ Haunted 2 ~


She was haunted.

No longer that coltish beauty he’d fished from the sea, all gold and self-righteous fire, nor that pretty “boy” who’d accosted him so boldly on the dock in Tortuga.

...looking for the man I love...

Not his fierce and desperate Nemesis, either.

He dreamt of her, over and over, in spite of the lack of such essentials as night, and rest. He dreamt, and it was torture sharp as the waterless void.

She was silver now, thin and hard as a blade, hair pale and lank, eyes dark, cheeks wet.

Served her right.

...peas in a pod...



~.~
vialethe: (Pirate.)

[personal profile] vialethe 2011-11-02 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
The descriptions here are just gorgeous, and so very Jack with the Served her right. Beautiful.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - At World's End)

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2011-11-02 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Jack is just a bit conflicted here, naturally enough.

!!

[identity profile] pearlseed.livejournal.com 2011-11-02 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Damn, you are Good! This is just as prettya story as any ever writ and such a lovely synopsis of Elisabeth's arc. Just absolutely cool beans!
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - At World's End)

Re: !!

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2011-11-02 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
such a lovely synopsis of Elisabeth's arc

Thank you so much! Ultimately it seemed to be her story, throughout, and Jack drawn like a moth to a flame.

Praise from Willofthewisp

(Anonymous) 2011-11-02 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
There is a sharp difference in COTBP Elizabeth and AWE Elizabeth and it's a great idea to have Jack notice it. I love the angst, how he still wants her, doesn't want to want her, etc. The descriptions here are so strong. "She was silver now, thin and hard as a blade, hair pale and lank, eyes dark, cheeks wet."--Amazing. Guilt and hardship and all the losses that will happen to her have taken their toll and yet she's still prettier than most on their best days. And Jack can still see some of himself in her. Great drabble.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - At World's End)

Re: Praise from Willofthewisp

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2011-11-06 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Forgive the lateness of my reply, and thank you so much for the wonderfully detailed feedback. I'm so glad you thought this fit Elizabeth's character -- and Jack's.

[identity profile] sharklady35.livejournal.com 2011-11-03 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't underestimate the lady, Jack. Gold may be gaudier, but silver is a lot less yielding.
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - At World's End)

[identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com 2011-11-06 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
What a great observation, drabble-worthy in its own right! Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

[identity profile] sharklady35.livejournal.com 2011-11-06 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)
> ...drabble-worthy in its own right! <

Feel very free to use it if you'd like.