dwgm: Kimi Birds (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
[personal profile] dwgm
[livejournal.com profile] hereswith had a birthday last month and life was so crazy in August that I let it zoom by unacknowledged. This must be remedied, of course, and I have written her some J/E smut to try to make amends.

I'm at it again with borrowing [livejournal.com profile] artaxastra's post-AWE universe, so I hope this meets with her approval. Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] jenthegypsy and [livejournal.com profile] hendercats for beta reading. This also uses prompt #6 from my [livejournal.com profile] 10_hurt_comfort table: Lonely.


~ Heartsore ~


She went back to bed after Jack left. There was nothing to be done, after all. Though her mind followed him as he made his way through the winding passages of the Cove and out to the docks, starlit and silent, she felt quite blessedly numb, tucked into the comfortable cot, bathed in the dim blue green light, her James sleeping in his cradle close at hand. No lingering warmth, no faint touch of lips. She did not feel. She would not.

*

Her days were filled, with duties, with study, with James -- well, Flip, to everyone, including herself much of the time -- with her new life, her people, so many friends, and more than friends. Will was gone, but he could return, and would too, she had no doubt. Jack was gone, but she had never expected him to stay.

Her days were filled. Not so, her nights.

The first week was the most difficult. A nonsensical feeling of abandonment came over her when she laid herself down to rest each night. Try as she would, she could not regain the insensibility that had seen her to dreamless sleep the night Jack left. How had she ever come to this pass? Surely only a fool would place her heart in the keeping of a man for whom the term "wayward" had to have been coined. She could not blame him, no. Yet his absence was a dull and constant ache.

But her days were filled, and if at night slow tears seeped from the corners of her eyes and trickled down through her hair, and if her hand brushed the bedclothes beside her, of its own volition, in a quest for something lost, why those were matters kept secret by the darkness, and no one else need ever know.

*

She woke in the black of pre-dawn to a fussing baby and aching breasts, a fortnight after he'd gone. She groaned, sleepily, and for a moment regretted Jack's absence for the simple fact that, had he been there, he would have fetched James for her.

The thought that this might be what she missed most about Jack, that she could be as selfish as that, made her laugh -- and gave her pause.

She lit the small lamp and went to fetch her son. "Oh, darling! Come here then," she said, and lifted his sweet weight to her shoulder, and took him back to bed.

Was it true? It could not be! But as she settled and nursed the baby, she examined her attachment to Jack Sparrow.

She'd been reading of his exploits for years before they met, and though they were a mixture of fact and fancy, the gist of the stories pointed true: he was a trickster, a scoundrel, a pirate -- and a good man. It had been proven time and again during their adventures. The best of all pirates, this Pirate Lord of the Caribbean.

And he loved her. He'd proven it in a thousand ways, great and small, from the moment they'd met, and never more so than in these last four months. Consideration, laughter, courage, and just the right degree of sympathy or encouragement -- or outright prodding. How would she have managed without him?

Oh, yes. She loved him. There it was. She loved Will, but she loved Jack, too. He completed her, Yang to her Yin, as Tai Huang would say, and Will a line of contact between them both, for better or worse.

She sighed aloud, the ache in her heart less, somehow. She would not stop missing Jack, and he would not stop loving her. That had to be enough, for now.

*

Another two months went by before she dreamed of him.

Her joy at seeing Will so suddenly had translated to a desire to enfold him, to be enfolded by the man who had loved her for so many years, no matter that he was something other now, with uncanny power and knowledge of things so arcane she would never know the half of it. She had desired him, new wife reaching to new husband, but with her mind more than her body.

"That so another one don' come too soon," Susannah had said sagely, when Elizabeth had put the awkward question to her. "Better for the mother that way. No worries. Your fire just banked, is all. It be early days yet."

Apparently six months was time enough.

Flip had recently begun to sleep through the night, and Elizabeth was deep in slumber when the dream came, taking all her senses. Sweat and patchouli; Jack's voice rough in her ear, telling her what he would do, what he would make her feel; gentle hands ghosting over her skin, his kisses brushing her lips, his eyelashes brushing her cheek. The lips moved lower, tickling her jawline, sweetly lingering at her collarbone, before his hand cupped one breast and his mouth descended, teasing until she writhed, breathless. Whispered endearments, his weight half pinning her, his hand caressing, moving over her waist, around her hip. She turned her face against his shoulder, and opened her legs, and could not keep silent as he touched her there, there where she needed it. She could feel him, too, moving hard and hot against her hip, though somehow she couldn't take him, use her own hands to make him gasp and cry out as she would have liked. "S'all right, Bess, let me... just let me..."

Somewhere in the depths was the knowledge that this was a dream, and she wondered at it, wondered if she would wake. But then his lips were on hers again, nipping, tasting, and she felt his smile as he pressed one long, too-clever finger deep inside her and used the rest to draw her over the edge of reason.

The baby woke, setting up a howl at his mother's apparent distress.

*
She comforted and nursed Flip -- her James, poor little man with such a mother -- and he finally slept again, as the sky was turning gray. Elizabeth put on a heavy silk robe, and went out to the railed overlook that provided the Pirate King with a view of her city. The air was cool and soft, and the stars were fading fast. Her people were beginning to stir, the smells of wood smoke and coffee drifting pleasantly on a slight breeze.

She heard a footstep behind her. It was Teague, just come in, fully dressed, and he smiled. Elizabeth said, "Have you even been to bed?"

He lifted his brows and smirked, shrugging. "In a manner of speaking."

She could not help smiling back, just a little. "Ah. I see." She turned back to the view, and he stepped up beside her.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked her, too casually.

"More or less."

They were silent for a moment, and then he put his hand lightly on her shoulder. "He'll come back."

Elizabeth turned, by reflex prepared to demand what he was talking about, but the assured voice was belied by the hope in Teague's eyes. She could not dash it, not his, not hers. So she said only, "Yes, he will," and reached up to cover his hand with her own.

~.~

Date: 2007-09-09 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erinya.livejournal.com
This made me choke up towards the end. Also, hot dream!sex.

Date: 2007-09-09 08:25 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
So very angsty, I know. But yes, hot dream!sex cures many ills. Glad you liked it!

Date: 2007-09-09 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] awickedwench.livejournal.com
But her days were filled, and if at night slow tears seeped from the corners of her eyes and trickled down through her hair, and if her hand brushed the bedclothes beside her, of its own volition, in a quest for something lost, why those were matters kept secret by the darkness, and no one else need ever know.


This is lovely! And the more angst the better, I say. Really enjoyed the read.

Date: 2007-09-09 10:04 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
So happy you liked it! Thank you for letting me know.

Date: 2007-09-09 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
Look at us all lining up for new fic from you. *G*

A very nice entry in the series that seems to have become fandom's newest sandbox - half the J/E people on my f-list, it seems, are writing stories in that 'verse or parallel to it, inspired by it, what have you, LOL. It's The Series That Ate Pirategasm!

Date: 2007-09-09 11:38 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Will by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
You know, after you said that about all the J/E fic I went back through the last five or so [livejournal.com profile] despatches and counted them. As I thought, there is far less J/E since AWE came out. There's not a lot of J/W either, of course. Seems like there's a lot of Norrington/Elizabeth, Barbossa/Elizabeth, and Beckett/Elizabeth (and the latter sort of squicks me and makes me go wtf??). Out of 35 fics in today's [livejournal.com profile] despatches, 7 had J/E as the pairing, or one of the pairings, and it's been that way for a while now.

[livejournal.com profile] artaxastra's plotline has such logic to it -- for me, anyway. It was exactly the direction I thought the story would go post-AWE, but I certainly couldn't have written it anywhere near as well. I'm just grateful she is so indulgent about letting me ride on her coattails.

I am very happy enjoyed this. Thank you for letting me know! I really appreciate it.

OT: Did you see [livejournal.com profile] penknife's new one about Will as CotFD? So good!!

Date: 2007-09-10 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] compassrose7577.livejournal.com
We're all breathing a sigh of relief and reveling in the sunlight of your new posting. It's about time, lass!

It's a relief to know you were finally able to shake off the doldrums--and cobwebs--and write. I toss my hat---and I'll go get it meself:)

I wouldn't just call it 'riding the coattails' of artaxastra's. You've managed to very tenderly fill in the chinks. Any of us who have lost can identify with the Lizzie you've created. And any of us with a child can understand the solace that can be found there...as well as the drudge and confinement. Her insights and resignations to the joys and sorrows of loving Jack are very touching as well.

You've brought a touch of elation to a hotel creature (and on her birthday to boot! Bonus!)

Thank you for sharing! As I said, the fandom is the better for you work.

Kerry

Date: 2007-09-10 01:03 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (It's all about you.)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
ACK!! I didn't know it was your birthday! Many happy returns. I hope your son is going to take you out to dinner, or give you a similar treat, for you surely deserve it!

As for myself, I'm wishing you Beignets, great coffee, and good company, even if the company's just imaginary pirates. *G*

So happy you enjoyed this -- angst and sex: two things most of us go for!

*Birthday Hugs*

Date: 2007-09-10 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] compassrose7577.livejournal.com
Not many celebrations tonight. Scott is at his apartment, crashed, scared speechless about his first day of school tomorrow, so imaginary pirates will be my best company. Not all bad, all things considered!

Maybe beignets after I get home from all my sojourns, but I really do appreciate the thoughts.......Kerry

Date: 2007-09-10 01:25 am (UTC)
skybound2: (POTC/Pink Floyd)
From: [personal profile] skybound2
Ahh, simply lovely, this. Love how she's coming to accept her feelings for Jack in this one. Very sweet little interlude :-)

Date: 2007-09-10 01:29 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it.

Eh, yours is still in the lead, lady *G*

Date: 2007-09-10 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
I stand by my opinion that a J/E fan is barking up the wrong tree when she bemoans the lack of her preferred pairing in a community where the biggest plurality of fics still involve Jack and Elizabeth sexually with each other (and yes, the largest plurality this week - as in many weeks - is J/E). It's true that half the stories are no longer of J/E like they were before AWE, to which I can only say "Thank God!" At the risk of sinking my own preferred 'ship, it's nice that the fandom no longer feels hijacked by only three pairings (J/W and J/j before DMC and J/E between DMC and AWE).

Date: 2007-09-10 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
Happy birthday!

Date: 2007-09-10 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
As for your story, it does a good job of "filling" to show how Elizabeth can change her mind about Jack. We can imagine well enough the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" sentiment, but this is such a complex situation that it's nice to see it shown.

Date: 2007-09-10 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] freelke.livejournal.com
Ahhh I like it so much. Please post again very soon! I can't wait to see what you come up with next. I can't wait to see what happens when he comes back. Please find time to write more of this wonderful story

Re: Eh, yours is still in the lead, lady *G*

Date: 2007-09-10 02:57 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - At World's End)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
At the risk of sinking my own preferred 'ship, it's nice that the fandom no longer feels hijacked by only three pairings (J/W and J/j before DMC and J/E between DMC and AWE).

I was going to say the same -- although the plethora of slash on LJ when I first found it engendered a love for same, when the writing is good. Love is love no matter who is involved.

a J/E fan is barking up the wrong tree when she bemoans the lack of her preferred pairing in a community where the biggest plurality of fics still involve Jack and Elizabeth sexually

*sighs*

I know there is quite a lot of J/E posted, but eep! the writing leaves something to be desired in some cases. Don't laugh, I'm trying to be nice here. My own motto from the very beginning was if you don't see what you like, then write it yourself. Which is how why I began writing Harry & the Pirate of course. And why I'm writing all these post-AWE vignettes -- that's a fascinating world, and I just want more of it.

Date: 2007-09-10 03:10 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
this is such a complex situation that it's nice to see it shown.

Yes, A. showed us where Jack stood in his conversation with Calypso, but then I was envisioning Elizabeth's side after I got through reading that chapter. Since she posted the next chapter without exploring Elizabeth's internal debate over the intervening months, I thought it might be OK to explore it myself. Hopefully I wasn't too hasty in doing so.

Date: 2007-09-10 03:12 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed this -- I really appreciate it! As I said in my header, this is just a gapfiller and [livejournal.com profile] artaxastra has already written the next part -- Forces of Nature. Go read! It's fantastic!

Date: 2007-09-10 08:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salr323.livejournal.com
This was lovely. The perfect compliment to [livejournal.com profile] artaxastra's wonderful fic. I too had wondered what Elizabeth had been feeling while Jack was away, and this was just as I'd imagined. :)

Date: 2007-09-10 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torn-eledhwen.livejournal.com
A fine present, particularly because we all get to share! :) Very enjoyable.

Date: 2007-09-10 01:50 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2007-09-10 01:52 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2007-09-10 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artaxastra.livejournal.com
This is like the cursed comment for me! I've come here three times to comment, and each time something happens before I manage to. (This morning it was the VSP crashing downstairs, having tripped over her own toys that were not supposed to be left on the stairs, but she's at school now, so, back again!)

I really love what you're doing with this, and the way you handle the time transitions. It's so smooth, something I envy.

And Elizabeth's steamy dreams, as time passes and her fire comes back. She's ready to acknowledge that she misses Jack, ready to try this, as strange and uncharted as these waters may be. I think you make good use of Teague too. He's part of the context for her decision -- having a lover is not nearly as unthinkable as it was a year before, living in the world of the Cove. She's more changed by her circumstances than she can recognize yet. And you do a wonderful job of showing that very subtly.

I love this, and thank you so much for writing it!

Date: 2007-09-10 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cymbeline.livejournal.com
Very poignant, I could feel what she was going through. Lovely work as usual. :D

Date: 2007-09-10 04:14 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Those cursed comments are truly annoying. Fortunately, LJ's pretty good most of the time. Poor VSP! I am assuming she wasn't much hurt, since she's off at school -- is she loving it? I remember how mine did!

I'm so happy you liked the way I handled this -- the plot bunny came to me as soon as I finished Gods & Heroes, and I was waiting to see if you would write it, as I thought you might. I am glad you went on to their reunion, though -- still makes me smile! -- giving me a chance to write what I felt would be Elizabeth's reactions to Jack's departure.

He's part of the context for her decision -- having a lover is not nearly as unthinkable as it was a year before, living in the world of the Cove.

I agree -- her way of looking at relationships has to have changed, what with living at the Cove, and her own set of quite bizarre circumstances. And she's obviously open to deviating from the straight and narrow when she needs to. Pirate!

Thank you so much for the feedback. It is very much appreciated.

Date: 2007-09-10 04:14 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!

Date: 2007-09-10 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hereswith.livejournal.com
*hugs tightly*

Profuse thanks, my dear, this was just what I needed right now, it made me happy and it's wonderful, as is all your writing. You convey how she longs for him and how she comes to acknowledge the place he has in her life really well, it feels very real, and the angst is lovely, especially here: But her days were filled, and if at night slow tears seeped from the corners of her eyes and trickled down through her hair, and if her hand brushed the bedclothes beside her, of its own volition, in a quest for something lost, why those were matters kept secret by the darkness, and no one else need ever know. I adore that sentence :-)

The whole dream sequence is gorgeous, intense and hot. *g* I like her interaction with Teague, as well, and how you set the scene at the beginning of that section. And the ending is perfect, with the hope they both share that she can't bring herself to dash, and: So she said only, "Yes, he will," and reached up to cover his hand with her own.

Thank you so much again! I love it! ♥ ♥ ♥

Date: 2007-09-11 01:55 am (UTC)
ext_18053: (dancewillhurt)
From: [identity profile] djarum99.livejournal.com
Happy birthday, love ♥

This is a lovely exploration of Elizabeth's feelings and their resolution. I love that she questions herself about being "selfish" for missing his support, and comes to terms with wanting him when her body prompts it. Her reflections on her encounter with Will added substance and meaning to that relationship as well. Thanks for this.

Date: 2007-09-11 04:06 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (It's all about you.)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
I am so happy you enjoyed this -- I thought you might, since it's replete with angst and topped off with an erotic dream. *G*

Since this is a belated birthday gift, you get twice as many wishes for a wonderful year. That's the rule.

Thank you for commenting here -- I really appreciate it!

*many hugs*

Date: 2007-09-11 04:12 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (J/E - by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
It's all so complicated for her, but one has to believe in the possibility of happiness. Thank you for the feedback on this. I really appreciate knowing the ideas came through intact.

Date: 2007-09-12 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hereswith.livejournal.com
Thank you :-)

Date: 2010-10-14 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-a-dram.livejournal.com
It's interesting to watch Elizabeth work through her feelings for Jack. Or dream her way through them, ahem. Again, I appreciate Teague being this rather comforting character here. Jack has that empathy about him, so it is nice to see it reflected in his father.

Date: 2010-10-15 02:37 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC -Teague by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
I appreciate Teague being this rather comforting character here. Jack has that empathy about him, so it is nice to see it reflected in his father.

Teague was one of the best things about AWE, amazing how that one short scene was so inspirational to so many writers. We were pretty ecstatic, as we'd had no idea if Keef's presence in the film would be an asset or far otherwise, we'd been worrying about it for a long time.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

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