dwgm: Kimi Birds (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
[personal profile] dwgm
A hundred words of Jack/Pearl for the 'silence' challenge at [livejournal.com profile] potc100. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hereswith for looking it over for me.



~ Dead Silence ~


The unkindest cut of all.

No gurgle or rush of water, no slap or boom of wave. No homely creaking of the ebon hull, no shiver or flap of sail. No siren song of wind in the lines and shrouds.

No song of wind.

No wind.

My soul I do swear…

Who would have guessed that the click of a crab's claw could have the resonance of a thunder clap, or that the grinding of his Black Pearl's inexplicably but indisputably intact corpus moving slowly past on a crustaceous swell was the sound of resurrection?


~.~

Date: 2008-09-17 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pearlseed.livejournal.com
Yea Team!! I loved it that crabs saved my captain!!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hippie-lover.livejournal.com
Lovely! I really like the repetition of "No..." at the start of the sentences in the first part, and the last line definitely has the tone of the scene - strange and lyrical all at the same time. Beautiful.

Date: 2008-09-17 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krystallazuli.livejournal.com
Ah the loneliness of the locker! Great job!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hendercats.livejournal.com
Who would have guessed that the click of a crab's claw could have the resonance of a thunder clap
Oooooh, I like that. :) Also like the beginning with its relentless repetition - the first line reads as if this wanted to turn into poetry.

Date: 2008-09-17 02:12 am (UTC)
ext_56562: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mamazano.livejournal.com
This is excellent, with a poetic flow to it. The entire piece builds to a wonderful crescendo. I love the imagery, and the metaphors.

I always thought the film's image of the Locker, desolate, DRY, no water, no wind...the Pearl forever careened on a barren spit of land... this had to be the ultimate torture for a man of the sea.

Date: 2008-09-17 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharklady35.livejournal.com
Excellent use of the prompt, and of every word in the drabble.

Date: 2008-09-17 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mary684.livejournal.com
*bounces* I LOVE THIS! I was thinking all day of the silence prompt and Jack in the locker and was SOOOOOO HOPING to see something like this -- but THIS is more than I had any right to expect! It's PERFECT! The horrible silence of the ship and the 'sound of resurrection' -- just gonna have to hug ya for this one! ((hugs))

Date: 2008-09-17 04:01 am (UTC)
ext_18053: (desperado)
From: [identity profile] djarum99.livejournal.com
the grinding of his Black Pearl's inexplicably but indisputably intact corpus moving slowly past on a crustaceous swell was the sound of resurrection

A noteworthy moment, perhaps the only one in the trilogy where Jack is rendered speechless :-) Lovely imagery, and a great interpretation of that moment ♥

Date: 2008-09-17 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] immortal-jedi.livejournal.com
very nice. I love it.

Date: 2008-09-17 11:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artaxastra.livejournal.com
Crabs! The crabs rock! I love the phrase "crustaceous swell"!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:41 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
The crabs were a great touch, weren't they? *g*

Date: 2008-09-17 01:43 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you for the feedback -- I'm so glad you liked this one!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:44 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:48 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
The Locker is such a weird locale, it almost calls for poetry. That infinite silence was the point of this, of course, but I couldn't leave it on a less than hopeful note. I love those crabs. *g* Thank you so much for commenting!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:54 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
T'm so glad you thought this worked well. It's no wonder Jack was a bit mad when they rescued him. Thank you for reading and commenting!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:54 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:56 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-09-17 01:59 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
*hugs you back*

I am so happy I could fulfill your hope. Thank you so much for the wonderful comments!!

Date: 2008-09-17 02:01 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
It's pretty difficult to render Jack speechless, isn't it? Takes a goddess, I guess. *g*

So glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for commenting.

Date: 2008-09-17 02:05 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
"The crabs rock" - hee! I thought 'crustaceous swell' was pretty succinct, considering the weirdness of the scene, and somewhat Jackish, too. So glad you liked!

Date: 2008-09-23 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] equilibrium44.livejournal.com
Thanks. With all that babbling Jack did in the Locker, I'd forgotten how silent it was otherwise. No wonder he began talking to 'himselves'.

Date: 2008-09-23 01:20 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC: Tia Dalma - a woman scorned)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
You're welcome! Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you liked it.

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dwgm

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