dwgm: Kimi Birds (PotC - Davy Jones)
[personal profile] dwgm
Here's my entry for the drabble theme of the week, angsty and unbetaed, but exactly a hundred words...



~ Give Him An Inch ~


The blade'd been broken, but it'd been deadly sharp and only an inch away.

Yet the moment was too sweet. He'd had to gloat. "Heady tonic, holding life and death in the palm of one's hand."

"You're a cruel man, Jack Sparrow!"

Lord, that was rich, coming from Jones. "Cruel is a matter of perspective," Jack had replied, with gentle malice.

"Oh, is it now?"

The scene played behind Jack's eyes, over and over, on the way to Tortuga. Almost as bad as the Locker.

One inch to immortality, and happily ever after.

Might as well have been a mile.

~.~

Date: 2008-02-21 09:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peladonww.livejournal.com
Oh nice one!

Date: 2008-02-21 05:31 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-02-21 09:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] p0wdermonkey.livejournal.com
Personally, I still think Jack never really wanted to captain the Dutchman - he just wanted to want it because it seemed like a neat way out of his fear of death / the Locker.
But your take on it here really makes sense. It figures that he'd feel bad about losing Liz and Will their 'happy ever after'. Poor Jack!

Date: 2008-02-21 05:39 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
I think you're right that he didn't really want to captain the Dutchman. I don't think he'd beat himself up for it for too long, but I can imagine him feeling something of an obligation to Will and Elizabeth for blowing it at the crucial moment. Could lead to all sorts of interesting developments.

Thank you so much for the feedback!
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Date: 2008-02-21 05:40 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-02-21 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salr323.livejournal.com
Oh this is great. You know, I've often wondered whether Jack regrets not getting his immortality, or if he feels that he had a lucky escape in the end...

Date: 2008-02-21 05:41 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Exactly what I was wondering. I also wonder if he feels some sort of obligation to Will and Elizabeth for blowing that crucial moment. It's an interesting, and complicated, element of the story.

So glad you liked it! Thank you for the feedback.

Date: 2008-02-21 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ericadawn16.livejournal.com
Aww, the last two lines were perfect.

Date: 2008-02-21 05:42 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Love that icon, btw.

Date: 2008-02-21 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pink-bagels.livejournal.com
Nice little shot of lingering regret there :P. Well done!

Date: 2008-02-21 05:42 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you! Glad you thought it worked.

Date: 2008-02-21 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honorat.livejournal.com
You know, that minute of gloating is always one's downfall :D But I like how your last line gives Jones the lie. There are some lines Jack just won't cross. He could have claimed his immortality, but a sense of honour remains a horrible nuisance for that pirate. Nicely done.

Date: 2008-02-21 05:45 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Will by wapiti_baris)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you! You have to wonder if that moment of hesitation that went so terribly wrong haunted him in various ways. Nancy commented at BP Sails that In the end the good man won out over the pirate and he's going to have to square with that someday, and I can totally see Will saying that to him later, can't you?

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Date: 2008-02-21 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justawench.livejournal.com
For some reason, this reminds me of Elizabeth chaining him to the mast. Once again, circumstances conspire against him choosing his own ending.

Nice drabble!

Date: 2008-02-21 05:50 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Exactly. Jack forgot his own rule about the opportune moment.

Thank you for reading and commenting -- I'm glad you liked this one!

Date: 2008-02-21 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharklady35.livejournal.com
Jack shouldn't regret that delay too much- as it was Will's destiny to be the Captain of the Dutchman, things worked out just as they were supposed to. And, there's always that Fountain of Youth to grant immortality sans any responsibilities.

But I can believe he felt like this for a little while. Nice work!

Date: 2008-02-21 07:02 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (PotC - Davy Jones)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
I expect Jack would eventually assuage any discomfiture or guilt by siting that destiny thing -- what's a poor little pirate to do in the face of Calypso's will? And sure there's the Fountain of Youth, but I think there'd always be a bit of guilt about Will and Elizabeth's fate. After all, it was his fault they were involved with Davy Jones in the first place.

Glad you liked this -- thanks for letting me know!

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Date: 2008-02-21 09:11 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-02-21 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slashfairy.livejournal.com
that's a grand insight into that moment.

enlightening comments to it, too.

Date: 2008-02-21 09:11 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you felt it worked to expand on that scene.

Date: 2008-02-21 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hendercats.livejournal.com
The scene played behind Jack's eyes, over and over, on the way to Tortuga. Almost as bad as the Locker.
*nods* Oh yes, that's perfect.

Oh, Jack! I agree that he likely didn't really want to captain the Dutchman, but he didn't care for being dead either, and he has a very pragmatic streak and so the search for the fountain is a way to avoid death *and* have a grand adventure.

Date: 2008-02-21 11:48 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Jack of Swords by Erinya)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Too true. But considering it was his deal with Jones that was behind the whole mess, I can imagine the whole thing would have to haunt him, to some degree.

So happy you thought it worked! Thank you for the thoughtful comment. :))

Date: 2008-02-22 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] komandant-krech.livejournal.com
Very nice! I've been wondering too if Jack really wanted to be the CotFD, _really_ understood what it meant and required from him, or was it just something that sounded 'cool' (immortality and the 'legend' coming with it). Character-wise, I think Will is better suited for the job, anyway -- after all, Jack might be a bit too impulsive and reckless... :D

But, yeah, it sounds reasonable that he felt guilt at some point (I played with the idea in my own story but didn't really take it further -- it _would_ be an interesting plot to explore deeper, anyway!).

Date: 2008-02-22 05:00 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Hard to say how much guilt Jack feels -- he certainly doesn't let his sins and setbacks get him down, just keeps his eye on that horizon -- which is one of the big things we love about him. But he'd be less than human if these events didn't haunt him to some degree, and it's certainly conceivable that they could affect his future, and in particular any subsequent dealings with Elizabeth and Will.

This was an idea I'd been considering for a while. Every time I watch that scene, Jack's gloating hesitation disturbs me. It's such a clichéd trope in movies, but it goes entirely against Jack's policy of waiting for the opportune moment. [livejournal.com profile] ladymouse said maybe Jack felt he had those seconds to enjoy his the moment because he didn't expect such wanton cruelty from Jones, whose attack on Will was pure malice, achieving nothing. I thought that was a good point.

Glad you liked this one. Some interesting discussion came from it. Thank you for reading and commenting!

Date: 2008-02-22 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kseenaa.livejournal.com
Oh thats good. Really good. Last line is just perfect. :-)

Date: 2008-02-22 05:00 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-02-22 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hereswith.livejournal.com
As usual, you do drabbles so well! I think he would have a certain regret over what happened, even though I don't imagine he actually wanted to captain that ship. Like others have said, it was a way to avoid death. Great take on that moment and very effective, especially the last two lines.

Date: 2008-02-22 11:56 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
He didn't seem too enthused about the duties involved, did he?

Thank you so much for the feedback -- I'm very happy you liked it!

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Date: 2008-02-23 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] florencia7.livejournal.com
Wonderful! Loved the last lines.

Date: 2008-02-23 09:47 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-02-24 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
Nice drabble! I always thought it was interesting that Jones knew exactly who to stab to get Jack's attention the fastest, considering he had both young Turners within his reach.

Date: 2008-02-24 02:35 am (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Elizabeth - Carriage by inevendim)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Yes, I thought about that. What if Jones had stabbed Elizabeth instead? Would've made a number of funs happy, though it might have been problematic for the Disney Pirate Princess line.

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Date: 2008-02-24 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilfluffykitten.livejournal.com
Nicely done.

For all his cunning Jack's mouth gets him (And those around!) into trouble more often than not - you really think he'd learn... (although I suppose he deserves at least a little gloat under the circumstances!)

Date: 2008-02-24 05:09 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Letting the opportune moment slip past is quite unlike him. I have to wonder whether he was really up for becoming CotFD. I think he would have done it, but that hesitation makes me think he wasn't entirely happy about it.

Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed this one!

Date: 2008-02-26 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] outinthestorm.livejournal.com
Finally getting around to reading these, and I'm struck by how perfect this is.
Wonderful!

Date: 2008-03-01 07:31 pm (UTC)
ext_15536: Fuschias by Geek Mama (Default)
From: [identity profile] geekmama.livejournal.com
Took me a while to respond, too -- but I'm so very glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for letting me know.

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dwgm: Kimi Birds (Default)
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