Dark of the Moon - 4

[dwgm]

More Dark of the Moon, in which our heroine grieves, and prays.

1 - 2 - 3 -

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! 

But God was far from her indeed this night. Her back against the cabin door, she sank down to the sole and drew her knees up, rocking and sobbing.

Stupid, stupid Brian! She was suddenly furious that her husband had gotten himself killed and left her in such a fix.

And just as suddenly felt horridly guilty for thinking it. Her sobs increased accordingly.

Thank goodness that pirate had taken himself off after placing such an unreasonable prohibition upon her, for how could she help but weep?

She shuddered and hugged herself tighter, the horror of her capture and the sword fight racketing through her brain – and the foundering, sinking Eliza Mae forming a nightmarish backdrop.

Full fathom five, Brian is, just as in Shakespeare. We could have been in the longboats with the others, together and alive. 

Oh, Brian! 

Anger and grief assailed her again. And fear. For she was now in the power of… of… that man. A pirate.

But an unexpected one. That had to be admitted. Perhaps he had some hidden motive in his offer of tea. He would drug her, maybe, and take her while she lay helpless!

Although he hadn’t seemed entirely anxious to… dishonor her. In fact, she would almost say he’d been annoyed.

She took a deep, shuddery breath and gave a watery sniff. Groped for the handkerchief again.

Tea. She could use some of that – if not something stronger! But no, she must keep her wits about her. The pirate – Jack, was it? – was dangerous, and cunning, too. Very different from her big, blundering, tow-headed fool of a husband. Dear fool. No, this… Jack… was barely taller than she was herself, and seemed young, but he was also dark, sharp, deadly. Polite, but that could be a mask. Yes. She must keep her wits about her.

She blew her nose.

 

*

TBC

 

Comments

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Yay! More story! Since my network is down and I can't get to my files, I can comment on this.

Very good characterization of Jack's captive. You capture the despair and torn emotions very well. How very human to feel anger at a loved one whose stupidity has gotten himself killed and her in a horrifying situation. And then guilty for the anger.

I like the little glimpses of the backstory here. So everyone else escaped with their lives. Yes her husband was a bit of an idiot!

And I love her confusion about Jack. He's a hard man to predict.

young, too, but he was also dark, sharp, deadly.
Oooh! Pretty picture. I so like Jack being dangerous.

Please sir, may I have some more?

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

MORE?!?!

Why of course, ma'am.

Thanks so much for the rapid and detailed feedback! Very glad you find the OFC satisfactory.

Poor beleaguered Jack is up next. ;)

[drk-prncss.livejournal.com]

Sharon, you are SO GOOD!!! I love your stories. *grins* It's so much fun picturing Jack as a young Man.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oooh, thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it.

I hope you're doing OK up there in the wilds of ...er... wherever it is you are (South Dakota?). We miss you!!! I haven't been checking my flist much lately, so probably have missed your posts. Say hi to Kevin. Does he have a Live Journal?

*sends you hugs*

[drk-prncss.livejournal.com]

South Dakota, yes. and I'm actually prolly gonna be coming home for a few months. It's too lonely up here. Kevin does have LJ, but it's set to friends only. but his LJ is http://sabaccplayer.livejournal.com/ He's actually already in Iraq, but he's doing well. I get to talk to him tomorrow. I'm so excited ^_^

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

You're coming home! Yay!

That's what I did when Bill went overseas, a month after we got married. And it's true (in most instances) that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Your reunion should be wonderful!

[drk-prncss.livejournal.com]

Oh I can't wait till he comes home!!!! I miss him so much... and it's just feeling like the right thing to do at this moment. while I've made a lot of new friends here, I really miss home and this is the perfect time to do it :)

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

More so soon, oh, that's great! It's interesting to see the situation from her perspective here, and the roller coaster switching between anger and grief, that's very plausible. As are her doubts about Jack. And I like how you end it, that last line is perfect :-) Lovely work, my dear!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's fun switching the pov back and forth. I'm glad the OFC seems to be working. :)

[berne.livejournal.com]

I seemed to have somehow missed you posting the first parts; I'm so glad I caught it here! Really excellent, love. I like your portrayal of young!Jack ("dark, sharp, deadly") and love, love, love the situation of the very first part. That Jack challenges his captain (captain!) for a lady in distress. It's a fascinating portrayal of the hierarchy of piracy, too, and that you manage to convey everything in so few words is great. Can't wait for more!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Eeep! I must not have been clear on that. Actually Jack didn't challenge his captain -- his captain just gave his approval for Jack to fight someone else for the girl (who still doesn't have a name... I need to remedy that).

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it, though. Thank you so much for the lovely feedback. There is more to come. Jack's pov next, with an appearance by Bootstrap Bill. ;)

[berne.livejournal.com]

Hee, that was probably my fault. I was exhausted last night. Huzzah for Bootstrap! I have such a fondness for Jack-and-Bill stories.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

No, it wasn't your fault -- I went back and read it, and it could easily have been read that way. I was trying to be too economical with words (drabble) and left out a couple that would've clarified the situation. I've now remedied this. Thank you very much for the heads up. I don't think I would have caught it otherwise.

I should be sending these off to hereswith for editing. Silly me.

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

I love how she turns her self around in this one, pulls together some semblance of rational thought despite her panic and distress. Your description of her emotion state flows smoothly from drew her knees up, rocking and sobbing to shuddered and hugged herself tighter to a deep, shuddery breath and gave a watery sniff.

She's more sympathetic for us, now.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

She's a bit of a drama queen. Not that she doesn't have reason to be upset, but she doesn't entirely get that giving free rein to one's emotions doesn't help matters. She's a form of torture to Jack who, even as young as he is here, always wears some sort of mask.

[hendercats.livejournal.com]

Oh my, it makes such perfect sense to her that she should be sobbing. Of course, isn't that what women are supposed to do, get hysterical (but she's got such a perfectly good reason - she could have been safe and away)? She is so delightfully soggy! I love how the horrible realities of the attack and her current situation have her pinballing from misery to anger to fear to misery again to curiosity...

She must keep her wits about her.
Ahem. Around Jack?

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

She really couldn't have picked a better strategy to keep him away, could she. Unfortunately, they're stuck with each other for a while, and it'll get more interesting.

So happy you're enjoying the melodrama! *G*