Ficlet: 'Madame Tortuga Loca' (Jack, Barbossa, Madame T.L. - Rated G)

[dwgm]

500 words for my dear niece, gingersnapps who requested a fic featuring Madame Tortuga Loca way back in 2007, when we first saw her at the AWE red carpet event at Disneyland. gingersnapps says: "This little lady billed herself as Madame Tortuga Loca and claims to have taught Tia Dalma everything that she knows! She was FANTASTIC! She was covered in everything from a wash-board to knitting needles. She made bracelets and predictions. She even gave away foreign currency to those who could tell her the country of origin like elissali could! She was definitely my favorite of all of the pre-Carpet entertainment!"

Also this uses the 'Aztec Gold' prompt from last week. As usual I'm playing catch-up. Many thanks to hereswith for looking it over!



~ Madame Tortuga Loca ~


“You! Jack Sparrow!”

The terrible, raggedy old woman pointed a bony finger, tremulous with emotion.

Jack, who’d spent the night indulging in a variety of the many vices Tortuga had to offer, blinked in the pale pre-dawn light and wrinkled his nose a bit at the faintly noxious scents of musty magick and mildew that emanated from the lady, but said, politely, “G’mornin’, Madame. You’re up late—“ He lifted a hand and staggered a bit as the first rays of the sun broke over the horizon, horrifyingly brilliant. “—or early, apparently.”

She narrowed her eyes, and shook the bony finger at him with some vehemence. “Aztec Gold, Jack Sparrow. I heard you last night, telling those who’d listen how you be going after the treasure of Cortez. Don’t do it! Don’t do it, I say!”

Before Jack could do more than frown, Barbossa sauntered up beside him. “This flea-bitten old hag botherin’ you, Jack? Maybe a morning swim in the harbor would do her some good.”

Madame Tortuga Loca might barely reach Jack’s shoulder, but when she drew herself up straight like that and set her fierce, somewhat rheumy gaze on one, as she was doing now to Hector, she was surprisingly formidable. “You dare!” she hissed at him, then turned to Jack again. “This how you treat a lady? This how you treat one who warns you ‘gainst evil?”

Jack, who only wanted his bed, with perhaps a hair of the dog beforehand, sighed and said, “Now Madame, that’s only old Hector’s feeble idea of a joke. And we know about the curse, no worries, we’ll be careful.”

Madame shook her head. “You go after that gold, you never see it, not for ten years. Ten years you will long for treasure, and when it finally comes you will be cursed, body and soul, the curse of a good man.”

Jack, sensing Hector smirking beside him, scowled at the old woman. “Just because I helped you that once—“

“Once and once and once – they all add up to the one thing.”

Jack’s scowl was more like a grimace now, and when Hector reiterated, “Chuck ‘er in the harbor, Captain?” Jack was almost inclined to agree.

But she said to Barbossa, in a terrible, portentous voice, “You see the Isla de Muerta, Hector Barbossa, you will not escape the living death. You, and those that go with you.”

Jack brightened at that. “Well, there you go, ma’am. You can’t have it both ways. If Hector sees it, I’ll see it, too, bein’ the captain, so it’s rubbish, basically, ain’t it? I’d check your herbs and potions if I was you – something’s gone a bit moldy, maybe.”

She goggled in (thankfully wordless) exasperation.

Much more the sort of reaction Jack was used to when dealing with women. He smiled and bowed. “Good day, to you, Madame. Come, Hector, let’s be off. Time an’ tide and all that—and treasure, too. Bring me that horizon!”


~.~

Comments

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

I expect after that he wouldn't be taking the prophesies of weirdly prescient ladies for granted. Thank you for reading and commenting!