Drabble: 'Dark of the Moon'

[dwgm]

About a 160 words of Young!Jack. Funny how these little scenes leap into one's mind on hearing the theme of the week...

~ Dark of the Moon ~

“I saw her first.”

“That’s a bloody lie!” snarled Knacker.

It was. And Captain Tobias knew it, too. He cocked a brow and gave his protégé a quizzical look. “That the way of it, Jack? Well, then. To the victor goes the spoils.”

With a roar of anger, Jack’s opponent was on him, and then it was the clash of steel on steel, the thump, pad, and scrape of boots. In seconds they were surrounded by a gawking, cheering mob, but Jack refused to be distracted. He had to win.

And did. Barely.

Five minutes, maybe, though it’d seemed an hour. Chest heaving, Jack stared down at his bleeding foe, and there was surprise on both their faces.

Jack recovered first. He turned to the girl. Pale hair, pale face. Rough hands holding her. For him. They let her go at his approach.

She gasped as he gripped her arm. He ignored it. “Come,” he said, and led her away.


~.~

Comments

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Whoot! First comment! I thought of that phrase too for this challenge because I once drew a war picture titled that. It was a pretty disturbing picture. The idea was how the victors get to deal with the consequences of the atrocities they've had to commit as well as the loot.

Anyway, enough blathering and on to the drabble--which in my opinion deserves to continue! I love this picture of Jack dueling, especially the sense of how the fight is amusement to everyone else except to him. And of course that mysterious girl. I do enjoy seeing Jack deadly serious. And the surprise when he wins is great--he's better than anybody thought when he must be.

Now to complain loudly: I wanna know what happened! And what will happen! What is between Jack and his captain? Who is this girl? Will Jack be her rescuer or a lesser form of her nightmares? You've definitely succeeded in intriguing me and making me write all sorts of stories in my head.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

You've definitely succeeded in intriguing me and making me write all sorts of stories in my head.

Bwahaha!!! Exactly what I was trying to do. This scenario could go so many different ways, and I purposely left it open to speculation.

I might continue it, though, one of these days. So happy you liked it. Thanks so much for commenting!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I'd love to see that picture too, if you feel inclined to share.

*bats eyes*

[honorat.livejournal.com]

Alas, I never quite finished the picture--it was taking research--but if I do get it done, I will post it.

[jenthegypsy.livejournal.com]

Cries of "Encore!" arise from the crowd.

Lovely, that, begging the questions of you that I am often asked - Who is she? Will there be more?

You always deliver such great visuals, and with this one there is descriptive audio as well: ...then it was the clash of steel on steel, the thump, pad, and scrape of boots. Delicious, my dear. Absolutely delicious!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

So happy you found it appetising! I may write more, but (as you must know) it's fun leaving the reader room to speculate. Thank you for commenting!

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

You know my thoughts on this :-) The implications here are thoroughly disturbing, on so many levels, especially since the characters are so matter-of-fact about it all, and the ending is suitably ambiguous, leaving it open to all kinds of interpretation, depending on the reader's view of the situation, and of Jack. Excellent work!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Thank you for giving me feedback here, too! I wanted to tell you, I kept the lines short at the end as I wanted to give an impression of breathlessness to the narrative. Hopefully it worked that way.

I'm so happy you liked it!

[hereswith.livejournal.com]

It's fine :-) Meant to answer your last e-mail, but that e-mail account doesn't work right now, it just freezes up. Pfft. Will reply later!

[(Anonymous)]

I have been lurking on Black Pearl Sails for some time now, and through that found my way to your stories here. You are an amazing writer GM! Even these drabbles are so alive! Looking forward to reading more from you. Many thanks, Mary (pirates_ships)

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy you're enjoying my stories, Mary! Thank you for de-lurking long enough to tell me so. :D I seem to have written a lot in the past two years, even discounting my longer stories (the Harry & the Pirate series), so it'll probably be some time before you run out of Geek Mama stories. They're all saved to my memories, if you want to take a peek.

[pirates-ships.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! I'll do that! Thanks, GM.

I started my own journal and added you as a friend so I don't miss anything new. In fact, you're the only friend right now. Hope you don't mind that I did that without asking first. This computer stuff is all pretty new to me. Please forgive me if I violated some rule of etiquette. Guess I should read all of those FAQ things.

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Thrilled to have you as a friend -- I'll friend you back, if you don't mind. Live Journal is very user friendly, so you'll get the hang of it quickly, I'm sure. I've had a lot of fun with it these past couple of years. :)

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

I see that you have two daughters -- me too! As with you, they are the loves of my life.

And I used to love gardening, too, before the computer ATE MY LIFE!!! *G*

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

What a HOOK!

*IS IN AWE*

I've opened all seven windows, going back to the start of this one, that I missed along the way. You've snared me well and truly with this start. Onward to the rest!

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lin! I'm so happy you liked it! Actually, I wrote the next little bit this morning when I should have been doing other things. Yay for 3 day weekends!

But speaking of AWE -- your color drabbles! They are nothing short of Brilliant.

[linaelyn.livejournal.com]

Yay for part 8 on its way!! I've been pulled in like an undertow into "Dark of the Moon"; just got to the line about "tea"!

I'm finding it an amusing bit of synchronicity that you and I both had a free moment for reading (and FB) at the same time on a Sunday afternoon. :-)

[hendercats.livejournal.com]

Captain Tobias!!
(must be losing my mind - did I read this when you posted? .. did I not comment? *stands in corner*)

Pale hair, pale face. Rough hands holding her. For him.
Oooh, sounds so ominous, but knowing the young!Jack who sailed under Tobias, am sure it is not. And - goodie! - there's lots of it! Can you tell I'm totally hooked already?

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm up to part ten on this -- writing it now, in fact, and it's a scene with the captain. You have some catching up to do, but the parts are very short -- only a few hundred words each -- so it shouldn't take you very long.

I'm doing that thing Lizzie and Gloria do, where the pov switches back and forth between the two main characters (Jack and the girl in this case). Kind of a fun exercise.

I'm glad you enjoyed this first little bit. :)

[p0wdermonkey.livejournal.com]

Am hooked. You can be sure I'll be back for the rest...

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

It turned out pretty nicely, considering it started with a drabble. Took me six months to get it finished, though, a little bit each week. I hope you enjoy it!