Drabble

[dwgm]

Wrote a drabble for the current challenge at Black Pearl Sails: Stars. Actually, it kind of qualifies for fabu's 'Day of the Dead' challenge, too, except it's only 100 words, without the title.




Star-talk




He found her, blanket-wrapped and pale, watching the sea and infinite stars.

“All right?” He sank to the deck beside her.

“No. It hurts.”

“Stitches do. Here.” He pressed the flask into her hand. She grimaced. “Drink it! That’s an order.”

She colored. Uncorked, sipped, a little, then more. Coughed.

He slipped his arm around her. She leaned into him. “Next time, you’ll obey orders, and you won’t be hurt, eh?”

“Still scolding?” she complained.

He kissed her.

As they settled back, a star fell, hissing across the sky, startling both.

Then she said, “It’s Will, laughing.”

“Aye.” He smiled.

Comments

[spican.livejournal.com]

Oh, there's a much longer story between the lines here. Really spare and tight, and still it reads at a laid-back pace because there are smooth leaps of understanding between every line. Puzzle pieces sliding into place. I love that.

Beautiful, gentle mood, too. "He found her, blanket-wrapped and pale" -- how sweet is that! :)

[geekmama.livejournal.com]

Puzzle pieces sliding into place.

Drabbles are like puzzles, both for the writer (getting what you want to say down to exactly 100 words) and for the reader who often has to read between the lines.

I'm so happy you liked this one! Thank you for the lovely feedback. It's very much appreciated.

[spican.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks so much for the warm welcome on the BPS group! (Will respond to the list email tomorrow when I have refreshed brain cells to devote to the task. :)

And I think you're right about drabbles being puzzles for both writer or reader. For some reason, in XF fic a drabble is set to a standard 155 words, which is a fairly hard workout. 100 words though, that's brutal! *g*