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The weather and the pool couldn't be more perfect.
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The current drabble challenge at Black Pearl Sails is "Revenge". I wrote something--a Jack/Anamaria something--but it's way too long for a drabble. No discipline. *sighs* This is the first thing I've written in present tense--if you don't think it works, somehow, let me know. I'm too sleepy to think clearly (all that swimming?).
They come to him, again, as sunset fades.
Gibbs looking
worried, Anamaria annoyed.
“Give over the helm,” Ana says. “I want a word with you. In
private.”
Well, he can’t keep at it much longer, anyway. Not after
the day he’s had. So, for form’s sake, he eyes her and lifts a provocative
brow. “That right? In private?” Predictably, she scowls, and he leers a
bit.
Gibbs chuckles, and lays a hand on the wheel. “I’ll take
care of ‘er for you, Captain. You go with Ana, now.”
Jack nods, leer fading. He has to. Has to rest. But…
His ship. The Pearl is his.
He’s careful to give no outward sign he’s tearing himself
away, perforce. He follows after Anamaria to the Great Cabin, admiring the
view, which gets him to thinking of that night they’d had, before he’d borrowed
her boat. A dangerous train of thought—she has a bad habit of reading his mind
about some things. But better that, just now, than the niggling dread…
But she opens the doors, and he follows her in, and it’s all
right. “You’ve cleaned it up.”
“Of course we did,” Ana snaps, as she shuts the doors behind
them. “Bloody hell, d’ja think we wanted Barbossa’s stench lingering?”
He gives a laugh, but it’s cut short. He hadn’t permitted
himself to look at things too closely when he was here with Barbossa a
fortnight past. The whole ship had been rotting, his cabin included.
His cabin. With some of his old things still intact, even
after ten years.
He can’t help himself. He walks over to the case that was built
into the bulkhead for his books (smiling to remember the carpenter—Goose
Dunnigan was it?—grousing about that unpiratical piece of work). Runs his
hand over the leather of the bindings.
“Don’t think Barbossa touched ‘em,” says Ana, at his
shoulder. “Lotta dust on ‘em, but we cleaned that off.”
“Did you now?” he murmurs, and turns to look at her.
She makes her face hard, but he can see her eyes. “There’s
some supper, there on the table,” she says gruffly. “And rum. Sit and have
some.”
He glances at the table—there’s a meal, laid out for him. He
makes a show of frowning and looks at her again. “Thought you wanted ‘a word. In
private’.”
She grinds her teeth, and then spits, “I do! You’ll sit down
there and eat, Jack Sparrow, an’ then you’ll get some sleep. I didn’t give the
word to go back an’ fetch you so’s you could drop dead like some lovesick
fool!”
An ultimatum? She ought to know better than that.
He says nothing for a minute. Thinks how it could have gone
this morning. Thinking how all this—this whole day—has surprised him. To put it
mildly.
Finally he says, “Didn’t think you’d give that word. Why did
you?”
She rolls her eyes, but her voice is less impatient as she
replies. “I told you this morning. The Black Pearl is yours.”
“I owed you a ship.”
“The Swann girl tell you about that?”
He just looks at her.
So she goes on, resigned. “You don’t owe me, or anyone, the Black
Pearl. An’ I figure a couple o’ weeks rottin’ in gaol, an’ bein’ almost hung
is plenty of revenge for what’s between the two of us.”
He studies her some more, for long, slow moments. Then,
seeing as she’s off her guard, he does what he wants to do. Grabs her, and
pulls her against him (the eyes in that beautiful, dark face!), and
kisses her.
On the cheek.
Her startled gasp fades, along with her furious intent to shove him away. Instead, she stills, tense and alive in his arms,
under his hands, and he’s able to brush his lips back against her smooth skin
and say in her ear, “Thank you, Ana.”
A lot of the fight goes out of her at that. But he kisses
her cheek again, and releases her.
She backs away a step, cheeks red, working hard at
indignation. She tilts her chin up, and says, severely, “You’re bloody mad!”
He grins. “So they say.”
She narrows her eyes. “You’d better watch it, Jack Sparrow!”
He narrows his, too, and tips the corner of his mouth up.
“It’s Captain Sparrow, lass.”
She gives a little snort that starts out derisive, but
doesn’t end that way. “Aye. So it is.” She shakes her head a bit: not
disagreement, just wonder. “Now: if we’re through havin’ words, Captain,
come an’ sit, and eat your supper.”
~.~
no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 11:54 pm (UTC)The present tense is working well for you here: very well indeed.
If I might beg a boon from you? Another, in present tense as well, of Anamaria and Gibbs, and the conversation that led to this moment? And then another one before that, the one that led to the decision to turn the Pearl around, and go get Jack from that gaol?
*puss-in-boots eyes* Please?
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 05:54 am (UTC)Fortunately, I wouldn't. And you're right, the possibilities are vast.
(Must acquire an Anamaria icon, and a Gibbs one, too.)
no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 05:55 am (UTC)I think it would have, don't you?
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 12:16 am (UTC)I find that the Jack/Ana pairing is rarely written in a way that intrigues me (I think I have some weird prejudice against canon and canon-implied pairings) but you've certainly done just that with this fic. I also would enjoy seeing more in this vein.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 12:17 am (UTC)*bookmarks*
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 06:22 am (UTC)That's what I've been thinking when I read stories written in present tense.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thanks so much for the feedback.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 09:23 am (UTC)The way he doesn't want to leave the helm, the way Anamaria recognizes why ... so perfectly in character. This is wonderful.
Will now be envious of your lovely weather and pool use - it's in the 50's a pouring rain here today. :(
On another topic: checked your flist lately? *bounce bounce*
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 11:19 am (UTC)So glad you liked this story. :)
I so wish you were here to enjoy the pool/summery weather/frozen daiquiris with me this weekend!!!!!
And HOLY CATS!!!!!!!!! A SEQUEL TO PRESCRIPTION!!!!!!!!! *squees ecstatically*
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 09:33 am (UTC)This is great! You know I'm not much for J/A, but you write it so very well, with such a good grasp of the characters, and the present tense works perfectly here. I *love* the first line, it's beautiful, as is this: she stills, tense and alive in his arms, under his hands. I really liked the bit where Jack remembers the carpenter grousing about that unpiratical piece of work as well. And you've done a marvellous job conveying the tension between the two of them.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 11:38 am (UTC)So happy you enjoyed this. I'm very much looking forward to reading yours!
(By the way, did you ever read
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 01:00 pm (UTC)Ah, yes, one of these days... being able to write a little more quickly would be a good thing.
Indeed I did. Great fics, all three of them!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 02:21 pm (UTC)I spotted one tense lapse:
She’d gasped, stiffening, and grabbed the front of his coat, ready to shove him away.
Don't know if it was intentional, but I think it would be better in present!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 04:43 pm (UTC)Tell her congrats from me--and that I love her bunches!!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-21 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 07:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-22 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 04:45 pm (UTC)That's one of my favorite things, too. There's a lot that can be written about Young Jack -- years and years worth of adventures, I should think.
So very happy you liked this story, too! Thank you for letting me know. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-02 12:04 pm (UTC)I love how Jack is always at his most annoying when he's at his most vulnerable. Pretending to have ulterior motives to save face. It works 'cause he doesn't have to pretend too hard.
He hadn’t permitted himself to look at things too closely when he was here with Barbossa a fortnight past Poor Jack. This whole story gives me horrible little twinges of sympathy.
Runs his hand over the leather of the bindings. As a bibliophile myself, this was so very moving. I love just touching my books, and this really adds so much to Jack's character.
She makes her face hard, but he can see her eyes
Instead, she stills
a little snort that starts out derisive, but doesn’t end that way
I love all of these little lines where Anamaria wavers between two different reactions. Perfect. I love how you portray their relationship. And that kiss that is not like the lecherous lear at the beginning is so wonderful.
Thank you for an excellent read. I feel all emotionally wrought up and ready to go write!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 09:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 02:38 am (UTC)Perfect!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 09:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 05:30 pm (UTC)I love this too. There's so much between these two. Ana should be in more stories.
Love your Jack, frightened of facing the mess that might still be in the cabin but not of admitting that he didn't expect them to come back for him. Yet again, he's a coward when it's trivial, but brave for the big stuff.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 05:45 pm (UTC)Just as so many of us are. I think that's one of the things that makes him so easy for everyone to relate to.
Jack/Ana used to be such a popular pairing, and they are very much fun to write together. If you want some more of them,
Thank you again for reading and commenting!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 08:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-01 02:53 am (UTC)